Garlic Review: Well Worth the Bad Breath

There are two types of people in the world – those that love garlic, and those that hate flavor. As one of the former, let me just say there’s no excuse not to love the vegetable. It’s delicious and adds tremendous zest to any meal. Bad breath is just the price of admission, and it’s one I’m always willing to pay. So when I saw there was an old-school-styled platformer named after it, I knew I had to check it out. I was quite impressed by Garlic, developed by Sylph and published by Ratalaika Games. Not only does it feature tight controls and worthy challenge, but it’s also one of the most delightfully crazy games I’ve played in a while.

Tower of Love

Despite the title, the main character is actually an onion-headed boy named Garlic. Which I suppose makes sense since garlic and onions are from the same tasty family. He’s driven by one quest – to climb the Sacred Tower and meet the Cyber Goddess. Only then will his unspoken wish be granted. The problem is, the moment he beholds the goddess from afar, Garlic falls madly in love with her. This is just a taste of the insanity in the game itself. It takes place in a seemingly dystopian world full of smart one-liners and dangerous traps. Garlic might be determined, but the Tower is even more determined to destroy him.

The Tower is comprised of 12 Zones, each with a different theme and color scheme. Each Zone has several levels to make your way through, and there’s always a boss battle as well. That said, while I loved the standard platforming in Garlic, I wasn’t as hot about the bosses. They’re generally rapid-fire and frantic, and over just as soon as they begin. At least if you know what you’re doing. The first boss kept killing me as I tried and tried to dash into him until he perished. Eventually, I realized my dash wasn’t hurting him, and instead needed to push him into a pit of lava.

As you might expect, each progressive Zone gets more and more challenging. Luckily, the controls in Garlic are very responsive and tight. Though our onion-headed hero can’t double jump, he can dash in any direction. He can also wall climb (sort of) and do more complicated and risky maneuvers. For example, if he dashes downwards and connects with the floor, you can immediately dash upwards in a slight arc. This is handy if you want to avoid some spikes on the ground and grab onto the ceiling for a moment.

Kung-Fu Onion

There are other techniques too, but you’ll pretty much have to discover them for yourself. Though the game features large signs emblazoned with visual indicators of how to use moves, they don’t fully spell anything out for you. This is fine since the basic maneuvers are more than enough to make your way through the levels. Just be wary. While you can take damage without instantly dying from most enemies, you’ll often start rushing forwards uncontrollably, or your head will expand to insane proportions. If you manage to avoid further damage until you stop flashing, you’ll be able to take damage from non-fatal sources once more.

Most levels are split into two varieties – regular side-scrolling affairs and vertical levels, where moving off the edge of one screen takes you to the opposite side. There are also weird mini-game levels where you’ll compete in bizarre tests to win the love of the Cyber Goddess. The first one is literally Garlic walking towards the screen, avoiding trash like cigarettes and kicking cans. Another has you swatting hearts on a computer screen while avoiding viruses and spam. It’s all utterly bizarre and made me love the game even more.

Making It Rain Quarters

There are also arcade machines where you can play different games like simple beat ’em ups or Shmups to earn more of the game’s only cryptocurrency, the Garlicoin. I’m not sure if having the coins does anything or can be used to unlock any content, but the drive to grab every coin in levels was strong. I mostly succeeded, but there were a couple of deviously placed coins that I finally gave up trying to acquire.

Like any great platformer, Garlic keeps throwing new hazards your way. You’ll have to dash past swinging bars of fire, avoid getting squished by pistons, burned by acidic slime, and so much more. The foes in your way also start crazy and get ever more bizarre. You’ll face floating ghosts, angry swamp fish, and seemingly adorable giant babies that cry damaging tears if you touch them. It would all be overwhelming if not for the many very handy checkpoints strewn throughout the game. There’s also a speedrun after you’re done with the Story mode, but I would find the incredibly stressful. Luckily there’s a lot of adventure for those just looking to climb the summit of the sacred tower.

Beautiful Insanity

Visually Garlic looks a lot like something from the Game Boy Color era, but I don’t mean that as a negative. I loved that era of gaming, where a few simple colors can express a whole lot. I appreciated the various color schemes throughout the different Zones, and though I didn’t love how the boss battles actually played out, the bosses themselves are all interesting and cartoony looking. Garlic himself is also delightfully expressive in the game’s cutscenes, and shows a lot of crazy emotion on his huge head. Musically the game is also pretty enjoyable, with laid-back tunes that don’t distract you from your intense platforming.

Get Your Pepto Ready, You’re In For a Treat!

I honestly found Garlic a joy to play, steep challenge and all. While the game may be a little intimidating to some, I found it quite engaging. It features a diversity of content, crazy challenges, great visuals, and a style that was quite unlike anything in recent years. If you’re not worried about dying a few dozen times, I’d say any fan of platformers or old-school games should give this a try.

Final Verdict: 4/5

Available on: Nintendo Switch (reviewed), PS4, PS5, Xbox One, and Series X|S; Publisher: Ratalaika Games; Developer: Sylph; Players: 1; Released: July 7, 2023; ESRB: T for Teen – Fantasy Violence, Suggestive Themes, Mild Blood; MSRP: $14.99

Editor’s note: The publisher provided a review copy to Hey Poor Player.