Onion Assault Review: It’s OK to Play with Your Food

I admittedly have a soft spot for indie developer Bertil Hörberg’s games. He has a knack for taking familiar game genres and mechanics and subverting expectations with his own unique twists. It’s pretty easy to identify the source material for his games. Gunman Clive and its sequel felt like a western-themed version of Mega Man without the upgrades. Super Punch Patrol played like Double Dragon but with Tom of Finland as the art director. Mechstermination Force’s boss-only gameplay combined Contra and Shadow of the Colossus with boss designs reminiscent of Gradius. While the inspirations are clear, the resulting product is distinct enough to stand on its own merits. With Onion Assault, his most recent indie outing, Hörberg looked to Super Mario Bros. 2 for inspiration, but there’s also a bit of Donkey Kong Country and Yoshi’s Island in the mix, too. You’ll mostly spend the game running, jumping, and plucking smiling vegetables from the earth like it’s 1988 again.

Onion Assault begins at the tranquil family onion farm owned by Pelle and Mama Lök. Invaded by the evil Croquetto Empire, presumably to get their hands on all those tasty onions, the farmerly duo quickly dispatches the invaders. The duo then sets off to defeat the Empire and rescue their stolen crop. At least, I assume they were stolen. Reaching the end of the level or beating a boss results in a literal explosion of onions, so that all adds up. You can pick between Pelle and his mom, but I didn’t notice any gameplay differences between the two. I opted for Pelle because he’s a shirtless beefcake, and I’m shallow. You see, unlike their namesake, I am not layered.

It’s Not Mario with Onions

While Pelle controls just like any character in Super Mario Bros. 2, it doesn’t feel the same, and I struggled with that for a while. He’s most analogous to Toad in that he’s fast and his jump is short, but he’s also surprisingly heavy (due to all that beef), so he falls rather quickly. Those of us who are familiar with how Mario feels, which is, well, everyone, might need a second to adjust. To be honest, it took me about the entirety of the first world to fully grasp how different it feels. It’s not that it feels bad or off—it’s just different. I played more conservatively than I would have in a Mario game.

Pelle’s momentum is a little different, too. There’s maybe a split-second delay in his speed when you hit the run button (maybe shorter than that, honestly), but if you’re expecting to make a long jump from a cold start, you’re not going to make it. That’s especially true on ice, which sometimes forces you to go back to a previous platform to get the required momentum to jump off it. Also, while the game is played in 2D, the engine is in 3D. Pelle takes full steps when he moves, but if you tap the joystick or D-pad, he’ll kind of take a half step. It’s not an exact science, though, and it can make the precise platforming required in later levels a bit trickier.

To be clear, I don’t consider this a flaw in Onion Assault’s design. It’s not Mario, so I don’t need it to feel like Mario. We’re conditioned to expect fast and snappy movement in platformers, and this is intentionally different. It takes a while to adjust to it, but it becomes second nature after a few levels. And the game’s difficulty steadily increases, so you should be fully acclimated by the time things get spicy.

Who Brought Onions to a Tank Fight?

Once you’ve gotten a handle on the controls, Onion Assault proceeds at a brisk pace in a familiar format. The goal of each level is to reach the end, which you accomplish by—you guessed it—throwing onions, enemies, and basically whatever else you can get your hands on. I don’t recall ever seeing Mario pick up a tank, but Pelle does it just as easily as picking onions. It’s wild, and I smile every time I see it. He can pick up an entire tank! And when you jump while holding it, it still fires shells. You can also pick those shells out of the air or ride them, much like Mario with Birdo’s eggs. Awesome!

While you’re busy harvesting and jumping about, you’ll also contend with the Empire’s army. They’re about as effective as Bowser’s: they’re a goofy bunch of well-intentioned weirdoes who only ever pose a threat if you aren’t paying attention. Standard soldiers, armed with billy clubs, will chase you if you get close, but they’re just as content to mill about. Same with the soldiers with bazookas, some of whom even have wings. The ones with capes just like to fly. Even nature—snakes, monsters, those odd little Goomba-esque things—just don’t seem to want to murder you. Of course, these are often placed in areas that require careful jumping, so while the enemies might not kill you, the environment certainly will. The exception is the Empire’s tanks. They might be slow, but their long-distance attacks and armored bodies require careful consideration. It’s easy to accidentally get yourself killed by them, especially when there are other enemies milling about and the environment is moving.

Just like Hörberg’s other games, Onion Assault’s bosses easily steal the show. These giant mechanical monstrosities are over the top, engaging, and always surprising. They require more than just platforming prowess to vanquish; indeed, like most of the game, the solution is all about pulling, lifting, and throwing whatever you can get your hands on. Sometimes it’s an onion, and sometimes it’s an entire boss. You know, whatever gets the job done.

An Entire World of Throwable Onions (and Stuff)

Super Mario might have Chargin’ Chuck, but Onion Assault has Puckin’ Paulie.

Onion Assault’s 16 levels are divided into 4 worlds, and there are some familiar themes and attractions. While I wouldn’t say there’s anything here that I haven’t seen before, these familiar sights are often used in unexpected ways. There are basic puzzles to solve through plucking and throwing stuff, and the larger enemies require more effort than just an onion to the face. Some levels also include mechanics that alter the game’s momentum, which will make you think twice about slow jumps.

While Onion Assault can be challenging, especially in the later levels, it’s never unfair or punishing. You can take three hits (more in specific instances), and losing all your lives just punts you back to the map. Level checkpoints are placed logically, too. So, while the moment-to-moment gameplay is challenging, the overall experience is forgiving. It’s expertly balanced just like the Gunman Clive games.

Any frustrations you do feel will be quickly offset by Onion Assault’s vibrant, cartoony, and layered world, which is a delight to explore. There are all sorts of fun little details if you stop running for a moment and look. The enemies and many environmental objects are synced to the current song’s beat, so everyone constantly looks like they’re jamming out. Those goofy mustachioed soldiers seem even less threatening when shaking their billy clubs and patting their bazookas in time to an upbeat song. And I just love the juxtaposition of massive war machines bearing down on you while giant sunflowers dance in the background. It’s a weird and wonderful world. The soundtrack is an eclectic pop mix with invigorating uses of horn and string, resulting in some jazzy tunes. I found myself bobbing my head along with it.

All Hail the Mighty Onion

I struggle to find much to complain about here. The gameplay and production are solid. If anything, I wish there were more of…everything. It took me about three hours to 100% beat the game. There are three coins to find in each level, but there doesn’t seem to be a reward for getting them. The first half of the game can be a bit predictable, but the latter half is more creatively diverse, which makes me wonder what another world or two of content would have been like. Even if you don’t like onions, Onion Assault is a well-crafted and polished little game that’s worthy of your time.

Final Verdict: 4/5

Available on: Switch (reviewed), Steam; Publisher: Hörberg Productions; Developer: Hörberg Productions; Players: 1; Release Date: January 26, 2023; ESRB: E10+; MSRP: $7.99

Editor’s note: The publisher provided a review copy to Hey Poor Player.