SpongeBob SquarePants: The Cosmic Shake Review: I’m ready! I’m ready!
Oh, Spongebob… you’ve really done it now. You were just trying to be nice when you used those mystical bubbles to make people happy, but now you’ve destroyed not only Bikini Bottom but the very fabric of space and time! Ugh… you know how it is with magical items — there’s always a catch! Haven’t you ever heard of the monkey’s paw? Oh right, you wouldn’t have, because monkeys tend to not live under the sea. Well, anyway, you have to fix this! Maybe the mermaid with suspiciously fortuitous timing and a pretty good evil laugh will help you set things straight, considering she’s the one who gave you the bubbles in the first place. No time to think about that for long — there are friends to rescue and a city to make right again!
So begins SpongeBob SquarePants: The Cosmic Shake, the newest nautical nonsensical game featuring the world’s most famous sponge. Developed by Purple Lamp Studios and published by THQ Nordic, SpongeBob SquarePants: The Cosmic Shake is a 3D platformer with light combat, collecting, and exploration elements. Available on PC and console with an introductory price of $39.99, SpongeBob SquarePants: The Cosmic Shake promises a lot of F.U.N. without breaking the bank too much (relax, Mr. Krabs!).
SpongeBob SquarePants: The Cosmic Shake has players taking on the role of the titular character, Spongebob, as he makes good on his pledge to set Bikini Bottom right — a pretty tough task, considering familiar people and places have been flung far across space and time and dropped into one of seven whimsical worlds. But with the help of his best balloon friend Patrick and extremely large quantities of jelly, Spongebob is able to visit these wacky worlds — and in full costume, to boot! Can you help Spongebob and Patrick bring back all their friends and put Bikini Bottom together again?
Except for Bikini Bottom, each of SpongeBob SquarePants: The Cosmic Shake’s worlds is segmented into several different areas that follow a fairly straightforward path with some minor exploration options. If you’re like me, you’ll find the allure of exploration to be pretty tempting the moment you see your first fork in the road, but it’s best to just speedrun the storyline upfront and come back to the worlds for more adventuring later, I promise. Following each story beat as they pop up in a linear fashion is the name of the main game at first, a feat that can be completed in a weekend if you’re a 3D platforming veteran.
When it comes to gameplay, SpongeBob SquarePants: The Cosmic Shake adapts the standards into the Spongebob universe. Spongebob will be able to attack enemies using his jellyfishing net, contain baddies with a careful flick of a bubble wand, and glide across the… erm, water, with a Krusty Krab Pizza box. The worlds themselves will also be familiar to fans of the franchise, as one-off scenario jokes, such as a prehistoric era or medieval setting, are creatively spun into entire levels. Even the costumes will garner recognition from Spongebob fans, such as the karate gear and fry cook uniform. All of this is incorporated into sprawling, busy levels with plenty of jumping, gliding, and bubble surfboard riding to do.
As for the writing, I found SpongeBob SquarePants: The Cosmic Shake to be in-line with its cartoon counterpart in terms of the actual characters. No matter what world you travel to, if there’s a money-grubbing guy, you can bet it’s Mr. Krabs. Hear rumors of an artiste? Definitely Squidward. A kick-butt cowgirl or karate master? You can bet that’s Sandy. Ms. Puff, Plankton, Karen, Pearl, Larry the Lobster, Gary, Spot, The Flying Dutchman… even incidentals like Fred and Tom are there, cracking the same jokes that we remember them making all those years ago. Make no mistake — SpongeBob SquarePants: The Cosmic Shake understands the Spongebob universe very well.
When it comes to the storyline, however, SpongeBob SquarePants: The Cosmic Shake gets a little… confusing. Spongebob and Patrick are venturing into each world to rescue a Bikini Bottomite, right? So when they arrive in the Western World, they are adamant about saving Mr. Krabs and bringing him home safe and sound. So how come they don’t rescue Sandy, Squidward, and Ms. Puff while they’re at it? They’re there too, not just Mr. Krabs. The same thing happens in the next level — in the Hollywood level, they’re deadset on rescuing Sandy. Great! But why not Pearl and Squidward?
The nature of each world could have made so much more sense by theming a character’s alter ego into the world in a way that makes it *their* world. Sandy should have had the Wild West, Mr. Krabs as a pirate makes perfect sense, and recreating Squidward’s dream sequence of playing the clarinet for a king would have made a funny boss battle. Each of the worlds were done well in SpongeBob SquarePants: The Cosmic Shake, but they didn’t tie back to the characters in a way that made the most sense narratively. If anything, I feel a huge opportunity was missed here.
Although I had a slow start with SpongeBob SquarePants: The Cosmic Shake, I admit it eventually won me over once I beat the main game. Bikini Bottom begins to repopulate with familiar faces upon completion of each world, but something is still amiss each time — Gary is far too massive, Squidward forgot how to speak, and more. Setting Bikini Bottom truly right by venturing back into the worlds and collecting various items made me realize the levels weren’t completely linear after all; in fact, this is where some of the most fun platforming is done, utilizing tools gained in later levels to access places in earlier ones for a slew of collectible items. If you fondly remember doing exactly this in DK64 as a child, you won’t be disappointed here.
I will be honest, SpongeBob SquarePants: The Cosmic Shake did not make a good first impression on me. I didn’t realize just how linear the storyline demands you to be upfront while simultaneously tossing you into levels that beg for exploration. This meant I spent a lot of time platforming to the highest points in the levels for no reason and felt like there were so many wasted opportunities, only to realize that the “prize” objects would be populated in those spots later.
Getting the costumes initially confused me as well. The mermaid Kassandra tells you she requires jelly in exchange for the costumes and gives you the main ones by way of cutscene, telling you the rest can be acquired in her shop. Jumping around her seahorse and cart yielded nothing, so I figured I couldn’t get anything for some time. Turns out the costume shop is in the pause menu, completely detached from Kassandra altogether. While I prefer this much more, it’s odd that this wasn’t tutorialized — considering literally everything else is (over and over again).
One impression was abundantly clear, however: SpongeBob SquarePants: The Cosmic Shake is primarily directed at a younger audience. Normally this should go without saying, considering it’s literally a game based on a kid’s show, but as it’s one millennials grew up with, it’s worth stating for the record. Sure, there are some elements here and there that definitely caught my eye as an adult (one level had some interesting Oldboy hallway scene vibes), but this is an easy game with challenging moments that can be completed in a weekend. I’ve stuck through with it to the end because I adore Spongebob, but this isn’t going to go down in the hall of fame as one of the greatest games of all time. Like any game, just manage your expectations with SpongeBob SquarePants: The Cosmic Shake accordingly — or be a literal child — and you’ll have a swimmingly good time.
SpongeBob SquarePants: The Cosmic Shake lays the Spongebob charm on thick, the Bikini Bottomites and their worlds ripped right out of one of the many, many, many episodes we’ve come to know and love over the years. Although it has a lot of great ideas pulled from the vast Spongebob universe, there’s something just a little sticky about the way it all came together in the end. SpongeBob SquarePants: The Cosmic Shake is good, clean F.U.N., and as long as you don’t expect too much out of it, you’ll have a totally coral time.
Final Verdict: 3.5/5
Available on: PC, PS4, PS5, XBox One, Switch (Reviewed); Publisher: THQ Nordic; Developer: Purple Lamp Studios; Players: 1; Released: January 31, 2022; MSRP: $39.99
Full disclosure: This review is based on a copy of Spongebob Squarepants: The Cosmic Shake provided by the publisher.
