Bill & Ted’s Excellent Retro Collection Review: Still bogus, dude.

When Limited Run Games first announced they’d be releasing Bill & Ted’s Excellent Retro Collection, I, like most ancient gamers, was dumbstruck. Having poured dozens of frustrating hours into the NES game myself as a wee lass back in the 90s, I know firsthand the pain and suffering Bill & Ted’s Excellent Video Game Adventure is capable of causing. And, sure, maybe the inclusion of the GameBoy’s Bill & Ted’s Excellent Portable Adventure might take the edge off things, but… still. Why on Earth would anyone try to resurrect what Angry Video Game Nerd not-so-lovingly branded “the worst LJN title ever made?” Would Limited Run Games improve upon the titles, or would they just unleash them into the wild with little fanfare and even less warning?

Readers, I had to find out. I just… I just had to. Bill & Ted’s Excellent Video Game Adventure was one of the very few games I owned for the NES and the only one that truly haunted me. Even if it was as bad as I remembered it being all those years ago, surely the fact that there’s an additional game will elevate the entire experience, right? That was my thought as I plunked down the $9.69 for the digital version of the Bill and Ted’s Excellent Retro Collection on the Switch and got right to work.

I’ll start with Bill & Ted’s Excellent Video Game Adventure for the NES, as it’s why I purchased Bill & Ted’s Excellent Retro Collection in the first place. In a nutshell, the NES game opens up on Rufus explaining to Ted that time-travelling pranksters have kidnapped historical figures and placed them into different time periods. To restore the timeline back to normal, Bill and Ted must (individually) find these historical figures and lure them back to their own time periods with the correct “historical bait,” such as a paint roller for Rembrant, salad dressing for Julius Caesar, and a credit card for Cleopatra. Simple, right?

Unfortunately… no. No, nothing is simple in Bill & Ted’s Excellent Video Game Adventure. The phone dialing screen is a confusing, inconsistent mess, the maps are isometric but NPCs give regular compass directions, and gameplay feels like it was treated as an afterthought. You’re plopped right into a random time period on a pathway dotted with things like trees, rocks, and fences and are to jump into them to find items like pudding cans, explosive textbooks, coins, and, of course, the historical bait. Aaaaaand that’s it, that’s the game: walk around in circles, jump into random stuff, and hope it yields something — anything! — to get you out of this godforsaken level. Bonus: since the music only plays briefly at the beginning of the level (and upon exiting a building), be prepared to just listen to a lot of silence followed by the jumping sound effect, which amounts to a slide whistle going up followed by what I imagine angry scribbles sound like. So… there’s that.

Since I knew what kind of game I was getting myself into, I didn’t exactly have the highest expectations for Bill & Ted’s Excellent Retro Collection; however, Limited Run Games did make one desperately needed quality of life improvement by adding the ability to save. Back in the 90s, I’d have to just shut off the NES before bed, progress be damned (I only made it past the first level once!); now I can save in the middle of my not-so-excellent adventure, making it just a little less heinous than it was before. In the very least, that is indeed a triumphant change.

With that being said, there’s still too much missing here to make this a worthwhile purchase — namely, the instruction manual. The first time I saw a map of the first level of Bill & Ted’s Excellent Video Game Adventure was in the AVGN video, and it was then that I realized the game really can’t be played without one. As it would turn out, the instruction manual bundled with new copies of the NES game did come with the maps (props to Patton Plays for pointing me to them), which makes the game somewhat more playable. The fact that Limited Run Games did not include the instruction manuals/maps when other retro collections do was a huge oversight from a retro gaming perspective, as so much necessary information is found in these booklets because there wasn’t enough storage to fit these things in the game itself. I would gladly trade the soundtrack and overlays for just the maps. Please, Limited Run Games, an update with this information would be a godsend.

Of course, the NES game is but one portion of the Bill & Ted’s Excellent Retro Collection — surely Bill & Ted’s Excellent Portable Adventure for the GameBoy would be better, right? Quick answer: for what it is, yeah absolutely. In this reviewer’s personal opinion, this style of GameBoy games doesn’t particularly appeal to me, but I can’t deny that it is at least a competent title. To sum, the second movie’s antagonist, DeNomolos, wants to alter the future, so Bill and Ted need to stop him by collecting time fragments. Unfortunately, historical figures (and Bill’s grandma) will stand in their way, so dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge (and jump) your way to the top of each level to stop DeNomolos in his tracks.

Bill & Ted’s Excellent Portable Adventure wasn’t really anything to write home about in my opinion, and I mean this in the best possible way. You start at point A, you have to make it to point B — just make sure to avoid the enemies in your path while doing so. I didn’t get to play this game the first time around, so I don’t have any traumatizing memories with any frustrating levels or points of friction. From what I can see and have played on the Switch, there’s nothing particularly bad about Bill & Ted’s Excellent Portable Adventure; its only crime is that it is now woefully outdated, so only those who enjoy truly retro titles are going to get any sort of mileage out of this one.

I will be the first to admit that I don’t truly understand my relationship with Bill & Ted’s Excellent Video Game Adventure. It’s an extremely annoying game done poorly, with nary an ounce of fun to be had. If anything, playing the NES game feels like constantly being on the cusp of solving a puzzle, knowing you’re just missing that last piece before it all clicks and everything falls into place. Unfortunately, that piece rarely surfaces, and even if it does, victory feels less satisfying and, somehow, even more anger-inducing — like you’re mad at the game for putting you through all that instead of being able to take pride in what you’ve accomplished.

This is where I feel I must repeat that the Bill & Ted’s Excellent Retro Collection failed both newcomers and nostalgia-chasers alike. Had Limited Run Games simply included the instruction manual with the map, I wouldn’t feel this strongly; in fact, after laying eyes on them for the first time in my life I was honestly surprised at how small the levels truly are. For once, they actually felt conquerable instead of just endlessly looping into pixelated purgatory. Bill & Ted’s Excellent Retro Collection didn’t need to include the rest of the Bill and Ted games or remaster the included ones to be good — they simply needed to add those maps. That’s it. I hope Limited Run Games and any other interested publishers takes note for future retro releases, as forgetting to include the manual is like forgetting to include the first level. Skipping on it cost Bill & Ted’s Excellent Retro Collection any hope it had of redeeming Bill & Ted’s Excellent Video Game Adventure — a most non-triumphant move.

Bill & Ted’s Excellent Retro Collection was a weird pick to re-release, but if it was going to be done, it should have been done properly. Bill & Ted’s Excellent Portable Adventure brings up the grade ever so slightly by being a passable title considering its era, but the ball was dropped when it came to Bill & Ted’s Excellent Video Game Adventure. The simple inclusion of the instruction manuals complete with level maps would have elevated the entire experience to make this original LJN release genuinely playable; unfortunately, this necessary information was left out, and players are yet again left to fumble around in the bushes, trees, and fences.

I hate to say it, but as it currently stands, this is not a worthwhile purchase — I can’t even recommend this to fans of the original movie because it’s still just as unplayable as it was all those years ago. I can only recommend Bill & Ted’s Excellent Retro Collection to those who, like me, were haunted by Bill & Ted’s Excellent Video Game Adventure and want to utilize the newly implemented save states to finally have a shot at finishing the game. But if Limited Run Games releases an update later with the maps? It might be a little less bogus then.

Final Verdict: 2/5

Available on: PS5, PS4, Switch (reviewed); Publisher: Limited Run Games; Developer: LJN, Beam Software, Rocket Science Productions, Acclaim Entertainment; Players: 1; Released: February 17, 2023; MSRP: $9.69

Editor’s note: This review is based on a digital copy of Bill and Ted’s Excellent Retro Collection purchased by the reviewer.