Ho Ho No…

I wasn’t planning on doing any more writing until the New Year. But wouldn’t you know it, I got an unexpected lump of coal these last few days. I suddenly found not 1, not 2, but all 4 of my pairs of Joy-Cons got sick with some holiday drift! And while I promise this entire opinion piece isn’t just about that regular annoyance, it motivated me to think about my journey as a lifelong fanboy of Nintendo (with some occasional distractions courtesy of my PS2, PSP, and Vita). And much like Scrooge, I’ll be going deep with some flashbacks to my past, present and future of gaming.

On paper, the Switch is the ultimate Nintendo console. Not only does it work as a traditional, TV-based system, but it also doubles as a handheld. Not only that, but the detachable Joy-Con theoretically allows for several ways to play, with a single or pair of Joy-Con or even with a pro controller. For me, the real attraction was simply being able to play portably. I spent a lot of time with my GBA and 3DS since I could drag them with me and play while seated. Portability was so much of a draw that I seriously considered trading in my Switch for a Lite since I have yet to play plugged into my TV. But there’s a big reason I never bought that version – the Lite’s Joy-Cons aren’t detachable. And with a problem as pervasive as drift, I just couldn’t fathom having to repair my entire system every time that little Grinch reared its ugly head.

Still one of my all-time favorite portable systems!

One big reason I’m still so surprised by this issue is simple – the entire time I’ve played Nintendo systems, they’ve been known for their durability. I actually dropped one 3DS onto a hard, concrete surface once and had nary a scratch or malfunction afterwards. Sure, Nintendo was usually behind the game when it came to console stats and modern software, but they were always built with what I think of as the Japanese pride in their work. One might associate China with cheap knockoffs, but when I think of Japan, it’s more about how durable and attractive their products are. Or at least, that’s what I associated with Nintendo until the Switch.

I should mention that I would be okay with the Switch’s fragility if I were someone who mistreated my stuff. But I’m such a stickler for protecting my collection that I still have toys I got in the 90s with mechanisms that work as well now as the day I bought them. I treat my stuff with loving care, even when I play it regularly. I don’t flail around with my sticks, and I don’t push my buttons too hard. I’ve never felt the need to get a warranty when buying a new game. So it’s doubly frustrating to have a Switch that feels like it’s constantly going to become unplayable. And not just because of the Joy-Con. I’ve noticed my internal readout doesn’t always correctly display the current charge level, and that’s after having owned the same console for only six years. By contrast, all my portables still work fine, though they do take a bit longer to reach a full charge than they used to.

Now, when there’s something that needs a little work with a Nintendo system, they’ll usually have it totally fixed in the next upgraded version. Which was why I was considering getting a Switch OLED, but there’s just one problem – they haven’t fixed the drift for that version either. In fact, when I searched online for whether there was any Joy-Con model that didn’t suffer from drift, I couldn’t find an affirmative answer, which makes me think that there’s no Joy-Con free from this curse.

What surprises me is that all my technically minded gamer friends assure me there’s a simple fix to the problem. And so, I’ve had a couple of Joy-Con repaired, only to find that a few months to a year later, they’re acting up all over again. And sure, Nintendo has a policy that allows gamers in North America and Mexico to turn in their Joy-Con for a functioning pair. My issue with that is you’re not guaranteed to get the same colors back, and that this feels more like putting a band-aid over a festering wound than treating the disease.

As insult to injury, getting a new pair of Joy-Cons is not cheap, and they usually run for around $50 – 70+. Given that Nintendo has to be aware of what an ongoing annoyance this mechanical flaw is, I almost feel like we should get some sort of subscription model where they send us a new pair of Joy-Con every few months. Or if that’s too expensive, they could just come out with an upgraded Joy-Con design that doesn’t suffer from this problem.

I love my Nintendo Switch, but the Joy-Con makes it a bittersweet sort of love. And even though I’ve put hundreds of hours into playing on it, problems and all, it makes me wonder what’s next for Nintendo. Because as much as I love portability, I’d be willing to forgo it for a console that lives up to their traditional durability standards. All I’ll say in closing is that I fervently hope that whatever comes next is backwards compatible and gives lifelong fans a little less grief.